


Tsuranga Nightmares

by GypsyGirl79



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post episode s11:e05 Tsuranga Conundrum, Pre-Relationship, Thasmin if you squint, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 16:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17749088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GypsyGirl79/pseuds/GypsyGirl79
Summary: The Doctor and Yaz both have nightmares following the events of The Tsuranga Conundrum.





	Tsuranga Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Pre-relationship one shot. Just Yasmin trying to offer the Doctor some comfort. Set prior to events in my 13 & Yaz series.
> 
> No beta. Sorry.
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism welcome. Please point out any inaccuracies and I’ll fix the story accordingly.

_Screaming. Screaming. Always the damned screaming. She could hear them screaming her name in anguish. Each angry, horrified shriek was in the unforgettable, yet grotesquely distorted, voice of a lost companion. Each shrill cry was an accusation against her; or at least one of the people she had been. ‘No,’ they screeched, ‘you are all the same! Different body, same bloody Doctor! We’re all dead because of you! We trusted you and you failed us!’ Their angry, disfigured faces appeared before her as their accusatory litany continued. They encircled her, closing in, tighter, tighter..._

The Doctor whimpered in her sleep. “No... Please... Don’t... Sorry... M’sorry... Please, m’sorry. No! STOP! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY!” She screamed herself awake, gasping. Her twin hearts fluttered in her chest as a wave of nausea sent her scrambling for the toilet, tripping over her own feet. After emptying her stomach, she shakily collapsed on the cold floor. She lay for a moment, clutching her aching side. Her ecto-spleen still wasn’t quite healed from their latest misadventure.

‘I almost got ‘em all killed,’ she thought. ‘They almost died because of me.’ Her new companions, who had come with her willingly despite her warnings, had indeed almost died. Twice, in fact. First, the sonic mine on the junk planet, then the P’ting on Tsuranga... And poor Astos had met his fate, though that wasn’t really her fault since she had volunteered to go starboard, but he ordered her to port side. Nevertheless, the guilt of his death weighed heavily upon her. She closed her eyes again. The sneering faces of the dead were gone, but the frightened faces of her gang, her team, her fam had replaced them. She looked at the scared dream visions of Ryan, Graham, and Yaz. 

‘Yaz. My beautiful, intelligent, brave Yasmin Khan,’ she thought. The young policewoman had stolen her hearts within minutes of their first meeting on the train. As she dropped them off in Sheffield after their meeting with Rosa Parks, she knew Yaz would be the one she would miss the most. She had promised herself she wouldn’t fall in love this time around, but this new body, this new personality couldn’t seem to keep such emotions buried. Not buried deep enough, anyway. ‘Why do I let this shit happen?’

The Doctor curled in on herself as the tears began to fall. She sobbed on the cold tile until her whole body ached. Finally, she pulled herself together enough to stagger to her feet. She looked at her disheveled reflection with contempt. She splashed her tear-stained face with cold water and headed to the kitchen. The thought of falling asleep caused her anxiety; she knew more nightmares awaited. They almost always did. Some tea and biscuits would have to do.

The Doctor shuffled into the kitchen. A strained, groggy voice startled her. “Doctor?” She gasped, spinning around to find Yasmin Khan sitting at the table with a cup of tea.

“Oh, Yaz! Sorry! Didn’t expect t’find anyone up. Thought you lot went t’bed.” The Doctor’s hands trembled as she reheated the kettle.

“Doctor, what’s wrong?” Yaz looked at her alien friend with concern. She had seen her upset when she thought they were trapped on the planet Desolation, but this was worse somehow. 

“What? Me? Nothing’s wrong! I’m fine! Always fine! Never better!” The blonde forced a smile, though there was no joy in it. 

Yaz wasn’t buying her bullshit bravado tonight. The Doctor looked a mess. She had obviously fallen asleep in her clothes as they were rumpled, her yellow braces hung loose by her side, and she was missing a sock. Her hair was a tousled mess and, most noticeably, her eyes were red as though she had been crying. Yaz crossed her arms over her chest. “Doctor, you’re still not entirely healed. Even you said ya needed rest t’heal up proper.”

The Doctor looked back at the kettle, impatient for it to boil. “Why’re you up, Yaz? I thought you lot were exhausted n’ went to bed hours ago.”

“You’re deflecting, Doctor,” the brunette told her, pointedly.

“I’m genuinely concerned for your wellbeing, Yasmin,” the Doctor said, looking hurt. ‘Doesn’t she know how much I care? Haven’t I told her how brilliant she is?’

“I know you’re concerned for me. And I’m concerned for you. Tell ya what, I’ll answer your question if you answer mine.” The Time Lord was still a moment, but nodded. Yaz sighed. “I’ve had a nightmare. Thought a cuppa might help me sleep. You?”

The Doctor dropped the kettle on the stovetop, spilling the hot water. She jumped out of the way, narrowly avoiding a scalding burn. She swore in a language Yaz didn’t understand, and the TARDIS apparently didn’t care to translate curses. “Shit! Doctor! Be careful!” She ushered the blonde to the table. Her voice grew gentle. “Here, let me.” She turned off the burner and carefully sopped up most of the hot water with a towel. She sat next to the trembling alien. She wanted to wrap her arms around the pathetic creature before her, but she kept a respectful distance. She wanted her to open up, not shut down. “What’s wrong, Doctor?”

The Doctor’s voice was quiet. “Had a nightmare, too.”

Yaz regarded her sadly. “Must’ve been awful. I’ve not seen ya this upset.” The Doctor nodded, looking embarrassed at her admission.

“What was your nightmare, Yaz?” She was deflecting again without completely changing the subject. She reached out with a long, slender finger and touched an almost imperceptible tear stain on her friend’s lovely brown cheek. The brunette frowned slightly and sighed.

“The sonic mine. Thinking I’d lost you. Thinking we weren’t gonna get that little bastard creature out the airlock in time. Thinking you’d lost the TARDIS again.” She noticed the Doctor’s expression had darkened. “It was very unsettling, sure. But it was just a bad dream and we’re all alive. Just needed a cuppa to settle myself and I’ll be ready for bed again.” She lightly touched the Doctor’s shoulder. “What was your nightmare? If you wanna tell me, that is.”

The Doctor stared at an invisible spot on the table. She began speaking so softly, Yaz almost didn’t notice. “Mine was a bit more involved. When you’ve lived as long as I have... I’ve loved and lost so much, Yaz. People just as wonderfully brilliant as you, Ryan, and Graham. Sometimes, most of the time, actually, those I’ve lost haunt my dreams. I came so close to losing you; all of you.” She inhaled a shaky breath. “Good thing my kind doesn’t require much sleep.”

Yaz nodded, sympathetically. That one confession was more information than she usually got from her secretive friend. “But ya need sleep to heal. You told us that. Ya haven’t been down long enough t’do yourself any good.” 

The Doctor swallowed hard. “I’ll be fine, Yaz. I promise. Think I’m gonna tinker with the TARDIS console a bit.” She tried to smile again. It was a small, sad smile, but not as forced. She stood to leave, but a stabbing pain in her side caused her to double over. “Aahh! Damn ecto-spleen!” Tears blurred her vision.

“Doctor! Come here,” Yaz tried to get her to sit, but the blonde pushed her away.

“I SAID I’M FINE, DAMNIT!” Yaz stepped back, shocked at her friend’s cross tone. The Doctor immediately looked horrified and ashamed. “M’sorry, Yaz. I-I just...” she trailed off as a stray tear slipped from her eye.

The younger woman caught it with her thumb. “Doctor, you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. I mean it. I’m honored to be your friend n’ I hope you’re happy to be mine. Y’know , we’ve both had a bad go of it tonight. I’d like some company, if ya don’t mind. It’ll make me feel better, might help you, too. Please?”

The Doctor knew what Yaz was doing, and it worked. Of course it worked. She’d give the whole universe to the woman standing before her. ‘Gold star for Yaz,’ she thought. She leaned into her shoulder, hiding her face in long, black hair. Her body shuddered with unshed tears. She stood with Yaz as the brunette led her to the sitting room. She sat on the sofa as Yaz covered her with a soft green blanket. “I’ll be right back,” she told her. The Doctor stared numbly at the wall. 

Yaz returned to the kitchen and was surprised to find a hot cup of tea waiting on her, the earlier mess having been sorted as well. She puzzled a moment before taking the tea. She whispered a ‘thank you’ to the TARDIS. 

Yaz found the Doctor where she had left her. She sat down next to her, handing her the tea. The Doctor sipped slowly until the cup was drained. Yaz took it from her trembling hands, watching the Doctor struggle to keep her eyes open. “Have a kip, Doctor. Just a short one.”

The Gallifreyan shook her head. “No! No, I don’t...”

“Doctor, I’m right here. I’m not gonna leave.” Yaz pulled an orange blanket over herself. “C’mon. Just close your eyes. Ya don’t have t’sleep. Just rest.”

The Doctor nodded, lower lip trembling. She rested her head on Yaz’s shoulder. Beautiful, strong, kind Yaz who shouldn’t have to see her cry. She wept silently as her friend tentatively began stroking her hair. “You saved us, ya know. Ya took the brunt of the mine blast and saved us from that energy-eating pig-thing.”

“P’ting,” the Doctor corrected, tearfully. “But you lot wouldn’t have been in that mess if I hadn’t... I really don’t know what I’d do if... ”

“Doctor, stop!” The Doctor startled at the stern tone, having nearly forgotten her sweet friend was an officer of the law. “You. Saved. Us. End of story.”

“But it’s not that simple, Yaz. It never is.” The Doctor said, tears flowing from hazel eyes.

“Maybe not, but it’s all that truly matters. We’re not going anywhere, Doctor. We’ve chosen to be with you for whatever adventures and dangers lay ahead.” She softened her voice. “Rest, Doctor. Please.”

“But you should sleep, too. You humans need more sleep.” The Doctor was stalling, still frightened of what she would see when she closed her eyes.

“I’ll sleep when I’m sure you’re resting. I don’t want t’be alone right now, n’ I’m not gonna leave you alone, either.” The Doctor slumped against her, exhausted. She wasn’t going to win this time.  
‘Ten points for Yaz,’ the Doctor though as her mind became more sluggish. 

The lights in the room dimmed as the TARDIS began humming in a manner different from the usual background noise. Yaz listened closely, realizing the ship was humming a tune. It was soft and sweet, like a lullaby. Yaz wondered if it was a tune from the alien’s home planet. “Doctor, what song is that?” She got only a light snore in response. Relieved that the Time Lord was asleep, Yaz allowed herself to doze. For one night at least, the nightmares didn’t return.


End file.
